The Insight Cure. ChangeYour Story. Change Your Life

The insight cure. Change Your Story, Transform Your Life  by John Sharp, M.D

Dr. Sharp maintains that every person has a story, a personal narrative that informs their life, their decisions, and their way of thinking. But did you know that it also affects the wiring of your brain? 

Renowned psychiatrist and professor at Harvard Medical School John Sharp, M.D., offers an eight-step process to discovering your unconscious narrative and using your new insight to eradicate the “false truth” that has been at the core of your self-sabotage. 

His unique approach integrates four core domains of applied psychology—control mastery theory, attachment theory, narrative therapy, and positive psychology—with his own research and professional experience to construct an insightful and soul-searching path to insight.

Dr. Sharp’s approach is simple and accessible, with the power to wield profound results. Through exercises, quizzes, thorough exploration of case studies, and clear guidance, you will be able to find your  unconscious core "false truth," rewrite your story from a negative to a more positive one, and transform your life. 

Once you have flipped the switch of insight, nothing can hold back the light that shines from within.

Here is the Table of Contents:

Chapter One : Understanding Why Change is hard

Chapter Two Recognizing Your False Truth

He lists the primary emotions to help us understand our past

They are Anger, Fear, and Sadness.

Anger: aggression, annoyance, bitterness, contempt, defensiveness, disgust, disrespect, envy, frustration, hate, hostility, irritation, jealousy, outrage, rage, resentment, revulsion

Fear: anxiety, avoidance, caution, concern, doubt, insecurity, intimidation, panic, stress, tension, terror, vulnerability, worry

Sadness: apathy, boredom, depression, despair, disappointment, disillusionment, embarrassment,  grief, guilt, loneliness, need, regret, rejection, remorse, shame.

He asks: “Do any of these words jump out at you?” He says to circle them as they are guidelines into our early life and the decisions we made then.

I found myself circling words in all three categories, but most in the category of Sadness, which fits, since my presenting symptom in therapy all my life has been Depression and I have often felt despair, disappointment, disillusionment, embarrassment,  grief, guilt, loneliness, need, regret, rejection, remorse, and shame.

Here is one of his exercises: 

Find your dominant negative emotion.

“You have a story to tell. Deep down, you know it very well. 

It is a story that explains the lion’s share of your distress in life.

What emotion is most familiar and most troubling to you?

Perhaps its fear or anger or feeling unwanted or rejected.

He asks you to visualize your hidden emotion, 

the one you have buried deep in your past

and to welcome it in to your awareness.

What shape is it? What color?

Does it have a scent? Make a noise?

Slowly describe the feeling.

Double check to see that there isn’t an even more deeply held, more centrally important emotion lurking in the back of the room.

If you become aware of one, take hold of it and describe it.

Finally back out of the room, leaving the emotions behind,

and close the door.

Chapter Three: Tracing The False Truth’s Origins

Chapter Four: Reflecting On The Old Story

Chapter Five: Working Through The Old Story

Chapter Six: Building Your New Story

Chapter Seven: Testing The New Story

Chapter Eight: Making Change Stick

I’m only half way through the book now, but I find his comments, case histories and above all answering his questions about the childhood and adolescent origins of our stories and of our “false truths” that lead us to re-enact our early traumas and engage in addictions and acts of self-sabotage in adulthood very telling. In fact I have had very strong emotional reactions when reading Chapters Two Through Four. His analysis and observations really touched me; I could identify with the attitudes, behaviors and “false truths” he described in some of his case histories.

I feel like I have a lot of unprocessed, undigested material back there that needs to be dug into, analyzed and worked through. I was wondering what to write about. Now I know what I must tackle, working to find the hidden unconscious emotions behind the ones I can recall that came up as I reflected on my experiences of hurt, disappointment, rejection and other painful experiences.

It’s not enough to simply remember and record our early experiences, he says. We have to persevere regarding them going deeper and deeper to find the unconscious emotions like Fear and Shame which still govern our life scripts.

I found that his profile of the anxious person’s experience of romantic relationships characterized my relationships when I was in my 20s and 30s:

“For you, relationships tend to be sources of stress and worry, and yet when you’re single, you feel desperate to find a new partner. You tend to overlook or romanticize a partner’s flaws. He or she is like a fantasy figure more than an actual person, which causes problems when he or she fails to meet your unrealistic expectations. Although you long to feel close and intimate, you also fear that expressing your feelings will scare partners away. You believe that you are the one who loves more in the couple and are in constant anxiety about being left for someone better. If your needs aren’t met you become angry and upset and may shout or cry. Your partner might respond to the outburst with confusion not really sure what happened to set you off. Even if the relationship isn’t going well, you cling to it because any relationship is better than none. You are likely to be demanding, jealous, and insecure, behaviors that might bring about the end of the relationship. When its over, you say: “I knew he/she didn’t really love me."